March, April 1999

1 Mar 99 ::: NS-IAD :::
March 1st is National Self-Injury Awareness Day. Please visit secret shame to learn more about self-injury. This site is the definitive site on SI; the largest and most informative. There's tons of info there and I encourage everyone to go through it with an open mind.

The web mistress of secret shame is a hero of mine. Deb Martinson is an incredible individual and I greatly admire her.

2 Mar 99 ::: Poor Car :::
<Groans> Ever have one of those days? I was driving along in Car, when I hear this terrible noise... coming from underneath poor Car. I think: "Oh man, I hope nothing falls off." Two miles later, something falls off. cheri says: "Oh shit." But nice Car is still running okay, so it must not have been terribly important. On my way back I picked it up. Kind of a metal grate thingee. <Shrug> Car is going to get maintained tomorrow, so be prepared to hear complaining about how much it costs me to put a useless metal thing back on! :)

8 Mar 99 ::: Dimensions :::
I have always been fascinated by dimensional space. Zero dimension is pretty boring, it's represented by a mathematical point. One dimension isn't terribly exciting either, it's a line having length but no width or height. The second dimension is where things get interesting. Second dimension is a mathematical plane, something with length and width, but no height. Remember the novella by Edwin Abbott Abbott, Flatland : A Romance of Many Dimensions? Way cool story about people who live in a two dimensional world. (This is the book that reinforced my interest in math. I really wanted a math minor in college. Unfortunately cheri did not want to study that much. heh.)

Anyway. Believe it or not, there are two dimensional objects in our three dimensional world. And they appear where ever there is light... Shadows only have two dimensions!

...To be continued... :)

11 Mar 99 ::: Hunting :::
What are your thoughts on hunting animals for sport/food? As a vegetarian, I am of course against hunting in all forms. People use all kinds of excuses to justify hunting. Let's take the one I've heard most often: "If we don't hunt deer, they will overpopulate..." etc, etc.

hm. um, okay. Ignoring the fact that mankind destroyed the deer's natural enemies, coyote and wolf. Also ignoring the fact that the whole over-populating scenario (deer population goes unchecked, deer eat all food, deer starve to death) is Nature's way of controlling population as well.

Let's ignore all that for a moment and give this issue a different twist. Dog and cat overpopulation in this country (USA) is a problem. I forget the exact number of stray animals euthanized every year in our pounds, but it is in the millions. Man hunts deer for sport and food, because there are plenty of deer around to be killed off. Yep, everyone agrees with this. Now, why doesn't Man hunt dogs and cats, since there are plenty of them around to be killed off?

The only real reason that man does not kill cats and dogs for sport/food is because cats and dogs are domesticated. People care more about their "pets" than they do about individual animals living in the wild. Of course.

So. Am I saying that we should have deer hunting season, quail hunting season, duck season, dog season, and cat season? Or am I saying we should domesticate the deer so we wouldn't hunt them anymore?

Nope, not really.

15 Mar 99 ::: Searching :::
Change is in the air, people. Well. Maybe. I have been a tiny bit restless in regards to this website. It needs an over-haul. Unfortunately, as usual, I lack direction. I have been surfing the web, searching for what I find attractive, looking for some ideas. But nothing has really struck me. Other than the fact that there are a _lot_ of homepages out there with very bad design and very boring content. :)

21 Mar 99 ::: Relax :::
I know, I know. I am an evil person who never updates her website and all my adoring fans are bored to tears. Well, just relax, people. That's what I'm doing. Take a few hours out of your day and do nothing. That's right, Nothing. Lay around. It's fun.

22 Mar 99 ::: Uninspired :::
Well, okay, people. I admit it. I am completely uninspired. Life sucks and I have absolutely nothing to say about it! So I decide to go through one of my old journals. Ha. Being uninspired seems to be an on-going theme for me. Here's a poem from 22 Dec 1994.

Oh, what should I write about?
I cannot think.
I'm racking my brain,
But everything stinks!

30 Mar 99 ::: Money :::
My tax consultant informs me that I am now officially a poor person. I have just worked my first, full "tax" year, all for what? Just to be called poor. <smiles> Well. It's a good thing that I don't feel poor. I have a place to live, I have food, I have transport, I have what luxuries I want. My computer does need upgrading, but I'd be saying that no matter how rich I was!

I've never really been concerned with money. I am always misplacing my pay checks, and putting money in a "safe" place never to be found again. I don't know why I am like this. Money just isn't terribly important to me. I mean, you can buy stuff with it, and you can put it in the bank. But that's about it. Money is pretty boring, don't you see?!

4 Apr 99 ::: Death :::
I have a fascinating job at the vet clinic. I wouldn't give up my time there for anything. But sometimes it's really hard, when dogs and cats that you know have to be killed. Last night, Tyke was put to sleep. Sweet little black and white sheltie, I gave him baths all the time.

Kit Cat was one of the first animals that I seriously knew, came in several times a week for treatment 'til he was killed when they found out he had cancer. Kibbles was another one of my friends, he boarded often, and I would walk him once a day while he was there. Big black mutt, but you had to watch him 'cause he would bite you if he was having a bad day. But, boy, he enjoyed those walks.

I don't know. I guess the moral here, is that people (of all species) come and go, and you should enjoy their presence and their love while you can.

7 April 99 ::: Focus :::
You know? I really lack focus. Which, at the moment, I feel kind of bad about. When I was a kid, all I wanted was to be a veterinarian, have some land with a couple horses and a dog. Then I found out that land is expensive, and I tend to pass out at the sight of other people's blood. When I got to high school, I took all the art classes. I wasn't that good, but I tried hard (well, until senior year that is, <smiles>). But I knew I didn't have talent. So next was college. Horses were still in my world. I also wanted to be a mathematician. And a art historian. When I switched colleges, I decided to take computer classes and creative writing courses with my continuing horse stuff. My summer jobs were horse related for the most part. And now I work as a grunt at a veterinary clinic. And next I might get some kind of computer job or go back to school to get a masters in Info Tech.

I had a point. My lack of focus. I wish I had kept drawing. Practice makes perfect, don't you know. Or I wish I had kept playing piano. Or I wish I had kept my interest in art history. Or I wish I had kept riding horses. Or something. Not that I can't start doing any of these things right now. I just lack the motivation. And persistance. And drive. And all that good stuff that keeps people going.

So where do you find motivation? And where do you find the motivation to go looking for the motivation?? Ack, I say.

12 April 99 ::: New Design :::
Whee. New and pretty design on my home page! Well, I think it's pretty. Especially after laboring over it for hours on end. :) I'm not quite done yet, it needs some kind of dividers for the sections. And I haven't even tested it yet, so if it looks like crap on your browser, please let me know. But I will be playing with this design for the next week or so... So stick around and witness the weird changes!

17 April 99 ::: Pet Peeves :::
I think I am going to be hyper-critical today. I'm out there, cruising the web, looking for some inspiration. But all I can think about are my web pet peeves. ack.
  • The splash page. You know... that opening page that has a pretty picture that says "Enter" on it, you have to click to get to the real home page. Just plain annoying. I understand the concept behind the spash page: to establish a "look and feel" to your site, and if you're smart, you can pre-load images for a graphics heavy home page so that it loads faster. But, still, I say: just plain annoying. Tho, I suppose I can live with a splash page or two.
  • Bad font decisions. Some people think that small fonts are cool. They're not, really. And then you have dark type on a dark background. Newbies don't know about the highlighting trick, and you know what? I'm not going to bother to highlight either.
  • The sub-window. um, okay. why? Why do people put their page in a little baby window? I just don't get this one. Plus it takes extra clicks to get rid of these annoying pages.
  • Hard to find content. This one is the worst. You have something to say, except you hide it... content is more than two clicks away from the index.html, or graphical links have no labels on them.
Okay, I think I've got all this critical-ness out of my system for now. Hopefully I will have something more enlightening to say next time. :)

24 Apr 99 ::: Religion :::
"All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few."
-- Stendhal

I am not a religious person. Neither am I very spiritual. I'm just your run of the mill atheist. I can fully understand why people would want to believe in a higher power which created us and is watching over us. But I have no desire to mindlessly follow what others think about the god thing.

How many religions are out there, anyway?? And each and every person has their own thoughts on their religion. And I guess that is what the whole thing is about... Taking what you need from a religion and leaving the rest. But then I wonder, why do people need this??

25 Apr 99 ::: The Procrastinator :::
I am a terrible procrastinator. It really showed back when I was in school. Fortunately I was smart enough that I could finish whatever computer program in a night or two, and had time enough the next morning to fix at least one of the stupid kid's programs. My practice did probably hurt my grades, especially the creative writing classes that I barely passed, but really, who cares?!

These days my procrastination still shows up on a regular basis. Taxes in at the last minute, liscense plates six months overdue, the car riding on empty for several days... The good news is that nothing has really caught me to teach me a lesson. Procrastinating does cause me a little bit of worry I suppose, so I should probably just get out and do what I am supposed to do, right? Well, maybe tomorrow...

26 Apr 99 ::: Uncreative :::
hm. I think I just realized something. I have been feeling rather uncreative as of late. Kind of apathetic, and not accomplishing any of the stuff I used to enjoy. And a possible reason for my creative apathy just percolated through my thick skull... I haven't been keeping up with my every-day journal anymore. I used to swear by that journal, wrote several pages every day. But this year began and it kind of fizzled for whatever reason.

So here I am again, trying to motivate myself.

28 Apr 99 ::: Cows :::
Today I talk about bovines. Cows are cool. But they are very dumb. Not very smart at all. Just plain stupid. There is actually a technical reason for the bovine's stupidness. Remember, bovines have that four chambered stomach. In one chamber, the true stomach, they digest stuff just like humans do, with acids and all that. But most of their digesting happens in their rumen, a huge stomach chamber where the food sits and is broken down by fermentation. Each of these two chambers makes a different kind of energy source out of the food... the true stomach makes glucose, the rumen makes volatile fatty acids (VFAs). Almost everything in a bovine is made to run on VFAs. So there are lots and lots of VFAs made in the huge rumen, while the small true stomach makes very little glucose. Unfortunately, the brain requires glucose. So, bovine's brains get the short end of the stick and they end up quite stupid.

Now you know. Cows... cute but stupid.

<vegetarian jab> But that's no reason to eat them. Or anyone else for that matter. Personally, I think we, as higher beings, should protect the weak and the ignorant (and the stupid)... not kill them for our own pleasure.

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©1999 by cheri -rift- meier of Static8