Journal Entry

27 June 2005 ... Failure

Yep. I am a complete and utter artistic failure. My daily drawings that I had challenged myself to, started fizzling. Crappy boring things. And I don't wanna.

I don't wanna draw. I don't wanna write. I don't wanna read. I don't wanna do anything. Just set me up in front of the telly, please.

I watch that show "Judging Amy", it's good, but I'm starting to catch some re-runs. And after two hours of that is two hours of Star Trek: TNG, excellent for the most part. And then I surf the channels. I found this cool haunted house show the other day. I'm a sucker for a decent ghost story.

And over the weekend and tv is as blah as I am. That's okay, I've got movies. Saturday I popped in the "Special Features" disc of the Two Towers, my favorite of the three Lord of the Rings movies. And discovered the existance of an " Extended Version" of the Two Towers which is apparently four discs long. I must have them.

So anyway. I watched most of the Features, and then the movie. And on Sunday I did the same with Return of the King. (And I wonder why I keep watching that one, I don't like it.)

Sitting in front of the tv makes the time pass quite pleasantly, but, gack, I've got all this glorious time on my hands without a job... I should be more productive. The last time I was a jobless bum (2000), I was writing like crazy, both here and in my notebooks. I was writing so much that stories even got created. There were sketches and this web site even got new site designs. (*gasp* I know what you're saying: "Site designs? here?" yes, that's right folks, it hasn't always been a sea horse and sea snails and little fishies.)

And what do I have to show for my last few months of total freedom? Nothing! I suck.

But then there's this other hand. I have taken an online class and have learned Reiki. After I got attuned, I started meditating and doing Reiki on myself everyday. I've only missed one day so far, and occasionally I do Reiki two or three times during a day.

What makes the Reiki so different? I did pay for my class and I am committed to studying because it is something I want to learn.

But I want to learn ways of drawing, too...

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