Lisa: WITHOUT SKATING,
THERE WAS NOTHING,
AND WITH SKATING,
I WAS KILLING MYSELF.

 ON THIN ICE HAS LEARNED
 THAT ICE SKATING HAS
 AN UGLY, TROUBLING SIDE,
LITTERED WITH YOUNG WOMEN
WHOSE HARD-NOSED COACHES
ARE CONVINCING THEM
TO HARM AND LITERALLY
MUTILATE THEIR OWN BODIES

IN THE OBSESSIVE PURSUIT
OF THE PERFECT FIGURE.
ONE OF MY FRIENDS WOULD
SELF-MUTILATE HERSELF.
SHE TOOK A RAZOR
AND WOULD JUST CUT HERSELF.
I WAS BINGING AND THROWING UP
OR JUST NOT EATING AT ALL.

I HAD A FRIEND
WHO ATE A PEACH A DAY.
SHE'D JUST CRUMBLE
INTO NOTHING.
THERE'S A LOT OF
PEOPLE BASICALLY
KILLING THEMSELVES.
SKINNY, LITTLE, ITSY-BITSY
IS HOW YOU BECOME
IN THE TOP 10 RIGHT NOW,
AND THE REASON IS SIMPLE.
IT'S HOW QUICKLY
YOU TURN IN THE AIR.
SO IF YOU HAVE
VIRTUALLY NO BODY AT ALL,
YOU TURN LIKE A PENCIL.
WHETHER THEY'RE GOING
UNDER THE KNIFE
OR MAKING THEMSELVES
THROW-UP,
YOU WON'T BELIEVE HOW
MANY YOUNG SKATERS WILL
DO ANYTHING TO STAY THIN
AS LONG AS THEY WIN.
IS ANOXIA A PROBLEM
IN THIS SPORT?
"
YES, IT IS.
MY COACHES
HAD SAID TO ME
THAT I WAS GETTING
A LITTLE CHUBBY.
THEY WANTED ME
TO LOSE 5 POUNDS.
IT NEVER
SEEMED TO END.
IT JUST SEEMED LIKE
THERE WAS ALWAYS
MORE WEIGHT TO LOSE,
MORE WEIGHT
TO LOSE.
"
LISA ERVIN,
THE SILVER MEDALIST
IN THE 1993 U.S. NATIONALS,
IS BARING HER SOUL
FOR THE FIRST TIME
ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.

LISA REVEALS SOME OF
THE DARKEST SECRETS
ABOUT AN UGLY TRUTH
IN ICE SKATING,
A TRUTH
THAT ALMOST KILLED HER

Lisa: THE FIRST THING
WAS THE LAXATIVES.
I'D TAKE MORE AND MORE
AND MORE AND MORE
OF THEM.
I'D TAKE, I MEAN,
STARTING WITH ONE PILL
TO 12 PILLS.
I MEAN, THERE WERE TIMES
WHEN I'D BE BUYING,
LIKE, 5 BOXES
OF LAXATIVES A WEEK.

I WOULD BINGE AND PURGE
AND BINGE AND PURGE.
I WAS DEPRESSED.
TELLING ME AT 14
THAT I COULDN'T SKATE
WAS MY WHOLE
ENTIRE WORLD.
I WAS ALWAYS
REALLY SCARED.
WITHOUT SKATING,
THERE WAS NOTHING,
AND WITH SKATING,
I WAS KILLING MYSELF.
JUST IMAGINE WHAT LISA
WAS DOING TO HER BODY.
ALL HER BINGING
AND PURGING,
MEDICALLY KNOWN AS BULIMIA,
AND STARVING HERSELF,
CALLED ANOREXIA,
FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH HER
AT THE 1994 NATIONAL
CHAMPIONSHIPS.

IT WAS THE DAY HER DREAMS
OF ICE SKATING GLORY
FINALLY CAME CRASHING DOWN.

I WENT OUT AND
SKATED JUST AWFUL,
AND I CAN REMEMBER
WANTING TO
GET OFF THE ICE,
JUST WANTING TO GO.
THE WEIGHT
WAS BLAMED.
IT WAS ALL ABOUT
THE WEIGHT.
AFTER THAT WAS WHEN
EVERYTHING JUST HIT
ROCK BOTTOM, BASICALLY.

IS LISA THE ONLY SKATER TO
HAVE EVER HIT ROCK BOTTOM?
WE WERE SHOCKED TO
LEARN THAT ACCORDING
TO A MAJOR MEDICAL STUDY,
MORE THAN 60%
OF ALL FEMALE ATHLETES
SUFFER FROM
AN EATING DISORDER.
EVEN MORE SHOCKING
IS THE GRUESOME ACT
OF SELF-MUTILATION
PERFORMED BY SOME GIRLS
WHO THINK THEIR BODIES
ARE NOT PERFECT OUGH.

ONE OF MY FRIENDS
WAS BULIMIC,
ONE OF MY FRIENDS
WAS ANOREXIC,
ONE WOULD
SELF-MUTILATE HERSELF.
SHE TOOK A RAZOR
AND WOULD JUST CUT HERSELF.

ALISON SANDLER, A FORMER
NATIONAL CLASS ICE DANCER,
WITNESSED THE RESULTS OF
A YOUNG SKATING COLLEAGUE
WHO SLICED HER WRISTS
WITH A RAZOR BLADE.
MY FRIEND HAD SHOWN ME
WHAT SHE HAD DONE,
AND I WAS REALLY UPSET
THAT MY FRIEND WAS
GOING THROUGH THIS,
BUT IT'S TO GET OUT
OF ALL THE ANGUISH
THAT SHE WAS FEELING.
SHE WOULD MAKE IT PHYSICAL,
WHICH IS HORRIBLE.
IT'S JUST HORRIBLE
TO DO THAT.

WHILE SOME SKATERS
USE RAZOR SHARP KNIVES
ON THEMSELVES,
THERE ARE OTHERS WHO ALLOW
KNIVES TO BE USED ON THEM.
NOTHING'S TOO OUTRAGEOUS FOR
THE PERFECT SKATING BODY.
NOW I'VE DEFINITELY HEARD
STORIES OF COACHES
ASKING THEIR SKATERS
TO GET BREAST REDUCTIONS.

THIS IS A SIDE OF FIGURE SKATING
THAT TO ME IS MOST TROUBLESOME.
THE FUTURE OF WOMEN'S
SKATING IS THE YOUNG
AND THE BREASTLESS.
COMMON SEN WOULD INDICATE
THAT SKATERS SHOULD
STOP DOING DAMAGE
TO THEIR BODIES,
AND THAT PARENTS AND
COACHES WOULD INSIST
THAT THEIR KID'S HEALTH
 MORE IMPORTANT
THAN A MEDAL.
BUT THE LURE OF GOLD
AND GLORY
CONTINUES TO TURN
MANY PEOPLE BLIND
TO THIS DARK SIDE
OF SKATING.
I THINK IT'S BEEN SWEPT
UNDER THE RUG A LOT.

WHEN ALISON CONFIDED IN HER
MOTHER ABOUT HER FRIEND'S
SELF-MUTILATION
AND OTHER SKATERS'
EATING DISORDERS,
LINDA SANDLER IMMEDIATELY
REPORTED IT TO OFFICIALS.
I TALKED TO THE DIRECTOR
AT THE RINK
AND TOLD THEM
THAT MY DAUGHTER
KNEW OF 3 OR 4 GIRLS,
AND ONE WAS
SELF-MUTILATING HERSELF.
NOTHING EVER HAPPENED.
IT WAS SWEPT
UNDER THE RUG,
WHICH IS SO WRONG.
IT'S SO SAD.
PEOPLE'S LIVES ARE BEING
RUINED BECAUSE OF THAT.
MY LIFE WAS OVER.
THAT'S WHAT I FELT LIKE.

NO ONE'S LIFE WAS MORE
NEGATIVELY IMPACTED
THAN LISA ERVIN'S.

THE PRESSURE AND PAIN
OF HER SKATING FAILURE
 AND THE HUMILIATION
 OF HER EATING DISORDER
ALMOST COMPLEELY
DESTROYED HER.
FOR LISA, SUICIDE WAS
HER FINAL OPTION.

I THINK IT HAD
CROSSED MY MIND.
I MEAN,
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU,
I THINK IT REALLY DID.
AND JUST BECAUSE I SAW
SKATING SLIPPING AWAY
FROM ME.
THE MINUTE THAT
I'M BEING TOLD THAT
I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE,
THAT I SHOULDN'T COME
BACK TO THE RINK UNTIL
THE WEIGHT HAD CHANGED,
THAT, I MEAN, LITERALLY
BROKE MY HEART.
I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
I MEAN, WHAT ELSE
WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?
SKATING WAS WHO I WAS.
THERE WAS, THERE WAS NO
LISA WITHOUT SKATING.

ALTHOUGH LISA MADE
THE DECISION TO LIVE
INSTEAD OF DIE,
SHE CONTINUES TO SEE
EVERY DAY,
KIDS JUST LIKE HER,
FACED WITH THE SAME DANGERS.
TO THEM, BODY MUTILATION
IS WORTH THE RISK,
AT LEAST IF THEY
LIVE THROUGH IT.

IT'S JUST REALLY PAINFUL
TO THINK I COULD HAVE
DONE THIS
AND BEEN, MAYBE, GREAT.
I MEAN, MAYBE NOT.
MAYBE I WOULD HAPE
BECOME NOTHING.
BUT THEE'S THIS
"WHAT IF" QUESTION

THAT WILL, I THINK
HAUNT US FOREVER.
ESPECIALLY ME, FOREVER.